September 19, 2022
Night
It was a gloomy day in the balcony, 37th floor high, with the view of the sky scrapers, and the Sierra Madre Mountain. It is my favorite part of the house tuwing umaambon and makulimlim. It's cold There in the small balcony, I am sitting, watching my family, laughing.
Daddy and Athena were tickling Miles- while he's hanging upside down through daddy's shoulders. And his eyes gazing at me, while laughing. Then Athena naman, then daddy... It was a happy day :)
Didn't bring my cellphone with me at the balcony as my today's schedule was to REST. Our weekend was a blast! We attended the birthday of one of our business partners- one of our most valuable player in our business, Cedrick, he's also the president of our company, and for the first time again in my life, lasing ako! Haha! Black out pre! >.< But one thing is for sure, it was definitely a whole lot of fun! And don't get me wrong, a decent night with good and fun-to-be-with-people. Buti na lang daddy JC is there, as always, na samahan ako sa lahat ng bagay. :)
So yun na nga, going back to the balcony, as I was looking to my family, sabi ko, sayang, di ko dala cellphone ko. I want to take a picture of that moment, pero ok lang, sabi ko ibablog ko na lang.
Angatagaaaal, tagal tagal ko ng gustong mag-blog ulit. I tried vlogging, yah I have a youtube account- you'll know and and watched it if you follow my life, it was fun, I loved making it, but I don't have the "tyaga" to capture videos, and edit it. Yes, I edit my own videos. Siguro hindi pa time, mas maganda siguro if I have my own videographer, editor, and account manager. :D
But writing, this is really me. Writing is my tool for expressions, second to conversations. Well, I'm a very private person- I'm outgoing, yes, because I party and drink hard, and loves adventure. but I love being inside the house. And talking to only one person, repeatedly, over and over again, hehe, and my partner now, JC, hindi sya nagsasawa bigyan ako ng oras para lang makipagusap sakin, sa lahat ng thoughts ko, ideas, plans, and mga realizations and recaps and conclusions ng mga nangyayari sa buhay namin,
Kagaya nga ng inistory ko one time, if you follow my stories- we always talk about life, about our relationship, what's not and what's needed, what shall be our set up, and mostly, our priority- kids, kung paano mapapalaki ng tama and malayo sa mga kapahamakan and sakit, and 2nd, yung house, nakahanap ako ng perfect pair ko- or shall I say, binigyan ako ni God, ng pair na kagaya ko rin, mahilig mag-ayos ng bahay. We always make sure na maayos ang tinitirhang bahay naming pamilya, and karamihan sa house namin are DIYs. He's a handy man, he loves creating things, like me. He did our wine rack, our balcony furnitures, our rabbit's house/cage, our shelves in the rooms, and many more wood works :) His toys are power tools, which I am interested with-too, because of the engineering industry that I lived a life with-too.
For a little time, medyo naghabol kami, kasi, biglaan we decided to celebrate Chamomile's one month birthday, together with his family. One month na kasi si baby and definitely dapat makita na ng family nya. So go, we prepared, one day planning, and 3 days preparations. Kaya super pagod!
Super daming nangyayari in life eh, alam mo yun, nanganak ako naoperahan, caesarean and tinangalan ng falopian tube, nag-baguio(2 weeks after) and syempre, work- events, bridal fairs, nag-first day of school si Athena; angdaming life changes plus nagopen ng new business si JC and super nag-click! Super nakaka-overwhelm, angtaas ng progress and biglang talon. Very successful business (ang galing nya! Anghirap kaya magpa-click negosyo, yung totoong kikita ka ha, at hindi barya na income ha! Just little steps, na pulido, mas maganda na cash flow nya sakin bigla. No joke and walang halong plastik or pagpapakitang tao-kuno lang para ibida ang jowa, I admire this guy. I know him na magaling naman talaga nuon pa man, and he really excels!
Blessing talaga samin si Miracle, the business that JC opened was the kiddie parties. He's mans all of it, syempre ako I always share my expertise and knowledges, but he mans everything- together with his partner-Cedrick. From the operations, sales, executions to after sales, silang dalawa na lang naghahandle, without my help. Ineendorse na lang nila ko sa client- as a designer/stylist. And it's all good! Bago saakin.
Yung income dito sa kiddie parties, hindi ganun kalaki-unlike sa weddings, more like 1/2 to 1/4 lng ito ng income sa kasal, pero quantity ang labanan. He booked 12 clients in the whole month of September.
Wala kaming schedule ng kasal ng October, pero ngayon biglang punong puno kasi dahil nga sa birthday parties. Kaya super nakaka-bigla yung life, nakakapagod, parang roller coaster angdaming nangyayari, angdaming nagbabago, yung one month parang 1 year na, alam mo yun. Pero all worth it! Blessing talaga ang baby. Grabe grabeng blessings ang binigay ni Miracle sa buhay namin, (just like ni Athena and Miles nuon), and she's really a miracle baby- kulang sya sa week, and nag-crucial yung pregnancy ko to her, for the first time sa pagbubuntis ko yun. Bigla akong dapat operahan kasi nakita sa color mapping ultra sound na naka-dikit ung placenta ko sa uterus, kaya pwede ako mag uterus rapture na madugong madugo-kapag nangyari, na pwede namin ikamatay ni baby.
Agad agad, pinabili kami ng blood sa Red Cross, for me, and 3 days after that ultrasound check up, inoperahan ako.
Kaya nakakawindang diba? Kasi September 10 pa due date ni baby (yes, kabirthday nya dapat si Nanay!), tapos pinanganak ko sya, August 16. So yung mga preparations namin sa panganganak, hindi pa masyadong ready! Like yung nursury room nya hindi pa tapos, and all. Pero syempre, nuon pa man nakabili na ko mga clothes nya, hehe, and we have all the basic needs naman na. Nakapag baby-shopping na rin kami. Alam mo yun, all is good lang, talagang di naman pababayaan ni God.
So yun, nairaos! Tinapos lahat ng kayang tapusin, nag-adjust sa schedules, at the same time, minemake sure na always have time for family-especially the kids, and to rest. And I can say, today, that it's really a happy day.
AHHH! Angsarap mag-pahinga! Hehe.. Palagi naman kami nagkukwentuhan ni JC, palagi naman ako may napaglalabasan ng expressions(him), pero this time, sabi ko sa kanya, kailangan na talaga mag-blog at isulat itong mga thoughts ko kasi angdami dami na! Hehe.
Sabi ko, importante na nailalabas to, kasi kako sige sya, pag di ko ito nailabas, magiging ano ako ulit, sabi nya "ano? post partum" hehe. Marami na rin kasi kami pinagdaanan e sa maiksing panahon. Muntik na rin maghiwalay hehe.
Pero ngayon, masasabi ko, if you will ask me how am I, how's my life? It's so peaceful.uu It's so easy and light. Na-master ko na rin yung art ng "dont giving a fuck". Super nagfocus sa family. Sa internal life, and sa mga importanteng bagay-syempre una na yung business, dahil yan ang bumubuhay saamin at nagbibigay ng mga pangangailangan ng aming mga anak. Kaya kasama na rin duon yung pakikisalamuha sa mga empleyado and staffs, na para na rin naming mga pamilya, at sympre. mga kaibigan. Simpleng samahan. Alam mo yun, so medyo dito na umiikot ung mundo namin sa ngayon, kasi ito pa ung kaya sa ngayon- at the same time kilala namin yung mga kaibigan naming totoo, na mula pa sa mga luma naming buhay-na hindi lng talaga masyado namemeet, pero nakakausap at nakikita naman rin paminsan minsan. Hehe.
Simple lang ang buhay namin ngayon, nasa magandang tirahan at paligid, na siguradong secure(security kasi number 1 ko when it comes to home choices), and maraming activities na pwedeng gawin. "Malaya" ba. We can buy what we want, eat what we want, at the same time, help people, have fun, pursue romantic love and enjoy dates, loving and sweet moments; sometimes with just the 2 of us, or sometimes with the kids... And at the same time we have dreams, to buy our 3 bedroom dream house in front of the beach, just like our home in Boracay last summer.... To build camp in the lot that we bought in Rizal.. To travel in Europe and enjoy a cruise line expedition. An events place, a rose farm kung mas papalarin hehe... And marami pang mga pangarap. Mga pangarap para sa anak... para sa sarili... para sa mga magulang at kamag-anak.. Para sa kumpanya...
I realized, that when you mature, your dreams grow.. Yung dating mga pangarap mo, hindi mo alam unti unti mo na palang naabot, or naabot mo na pala ng di mo namamalayan. At unti unti itong nadagdagdagan at lumalaki. Pero ngayong matured ka na, hindi na lang pangarap para sa sarili mo, kundi pangarap na para sa lahat ng mga taong mahal mo sa buhay at mahahalaga sayo...
Habang tumatanda, mas natututong magpatawad sa isa't isa at humingi ng tawad... Mas matured ka pag mas marunong kang tumangap ng mga pagkakamali, at willing mag-improve. Matagal, bago ko ito na-master. Humingi ng tawad sa clients, sa mga taong di mo alam nasasaktan mo na pala... At magpatawad at tumangap muli sa mga taong na-kasakit sayo pero naging importanteng parte ng buhay mo... Kagaya na lang sa ama nila Athena and Miles, we're very civil right now, I learned to forgive, we faced the consequences of our actions in the past, and I believe that everything really happens for a reason. God gave me a better partner, hindi lang siguro kami nagmatch ng sobra ng old daddy nila Athena, may salungat sa mga bagay-bagay, sa prinsipyo, sa beliefs, sa mga gusto, cultura at traiditions.. I'm sure nay ibibigay si Lord sa kanya na para sa kanya talaga, na magmamatch rin sa kanya.. And to be honest, I loved that man, of course, and I am hurt, na, ak I found mine na, and he. he's still there and lost...
*******
September 24, 2022
Day
Pero ganun talaga eh, may actions talaga ang consequences natin... He's not a bad man, naging "too much" lang siguro... Too much ambitions, too much wants, less apprciation, less contentment. I remember I always tell him "tignan mo yung paligid mo... Ang ganda ganda", may garden kami, malaking garahe, may big bike sya na naka-park, angdaming puno at prutas(malungay, calamansi, papaya, avocado etc.) pero parang angdami pa ring kulang. Angdami pa rin hinahangad, angdaming problema... Ayun, nambabae, well sanay at tangap ko na nga na nambababae sya eh, di naman yun bago. But this time, nagmahal sya ng iba. Yung babae daw na yun nagigive sya ng emotional support- and ayun yung pinaka-masakit dun. Kasi duon ako magaling eh, my language is love, yung mga ibang tao nga anglalaking pasasalamat sakin sa mga emotional supports na naseshare ko sa kanila sa mga minsanang pagkakataon na nakakausap ko sila... Tapos, yung kasama ko sa buhay, hindi yun nakita sakin... Well, wala naman ng galit, kwento na lang ito hehe... Thoughts na lang.. But the point is, hindi talaga maganda ang balik sayo- pag nambabae ka(hi girls! tama ako diba)... Kasi that's the golden rule nga eh, don't hurt anyone, and as long as you don't hurt anyone, you will be good. Bata pa lang ako life principles ko na yan.... So lalo pa ngayon na we're all adults na diba, yung animals nga kapag nasasaktan, nasasaktan tayo eh, or yung mga di naman natin kaan-ano, paano pa diba kung yung mga mahal pa natin sa buhay... I'm not a perfectt person and I'm not clean... Minsan na rin ako nakagawa ng mga malalaking kasalanan, pero alam mo yun, minsan choice na rin natin talaga magkamali, pero hindi dapat nilalagi-lagi.. Palagi ko ngang sinasabi sa mga mas nakakabata sakin-especially to my crews: "pag alam nyo ng mali, mali na yun, di na dapat inuulit ulit. Dapat natututunan kung bakit mali at di na gagawin uli. Hindi yung alam na ngang mali, uulitin pa, masama lalo kapag inuulit ulit". Hehe...
I always pray, I always dream... Kaya nga about dreams yung first tattoo ko eh, hehe... "Don't ever stop dreaming your dreams" - Tessie Dela Cruz. My mom is a writer, sa mga publishing companies sya nagwowork, like Rex. And quote nya yan sakin. That's literally the quote that I lived by. And kahit sinong maging partner ko in life, or boyfriend, palagi kong sinasama sa pangarap ko. That's who I am eh... And thankful naman ako sa lahat sa kanila, and kagaya ni Heart Evangelista, I do not regret having them all. Haha angdami, sorry.. And naglived by rin ako sa sinabi ni ate Mhau-km8s, sakin.. Na breaking up someone, means one step closer to a better person.
And I always pray to find my prince charming. Kasi I am an alone child. If you know me too well, you for sure know my life story. Palagi akong longing for love... Mga ex-boyfriends ko ginagawa kong mundo ko... And palaging kasama sa prayers ko yung kung tawagin ni Dom na "Fantasy Man"... Nung una di na rin ako naniniwala na may ganyan... Pero kapag nahanap mo yung taong ka-match mo, there would be. Kasi magmamatch yung beliefs nyo, yung principles...
Kagaya ni JC, he is so Godly talaga, a non-Catholic Christian kasi sya, and alam nyo naman diba, natin, na they are Godly in terms of Bible ganyan. E ako I studied to a non-Catholic Christial when I was in grade school. Sa Immanuel Lutheran School- kaya our religion beliefs are the same and I think that is important. May mga differences kasi I am a Catholic, meron at may hindi ako na finofollow, pero we're okay with that and we understand and respect it...
He loves universe! Which I do too! May mga books ako about science and universe na interest nya talaga rin, he actually have a product na constellation light decor; that he did, nung hindi pa kami mutual.
And lahat ng gusto ko na "Fantasy Man", he is.. He is a very private person, super humble. And most of all, Romantic. Dahil sa kanya mas naiintindihan ko yung meaning ng romantic, angdami ng nangyari sa buhay namin angdami ng pinagdaanan, pero hangang ngayon, kaya nya pa rin ako pakiligin...
Sabi nga ni Ryan Jay "si JC kasi ano to eh, hindi sya sweet eh, ano sya, Romantic" haha galing ni Ryan dun ah hehe.. And oo, tama nga... Napaka-romantic nitong taong to...
Haaaay, imagine, nung sinusulat ko tong blog na to, the first part, I was playing love song in my cute retro speaker, my gold lamp shades a warm romantic lights, baby Miracle was just right at my back, on her nursery bed, It was so peaceful and a lovely moment of mine... then pumasok sya, he helped me to charge the laptop, tapos yung pagcharge nya, nakapasok ako sa loob ng hands nya ganun... My back touching his chest. habang kinakabit nya yung charger, 2 hands in the laptop, while I'm inside him... Parang sa pelikula lang talaga nga.. But he did it to me, I was surprised, I was so, kilig. Haha! May mga ganito pa palang lalaki... And I know for sure naman, marami... May mga romantic person talaga. Hihi..
Last night he made the living room cold. He knows I like cold. Inopen nya yung aircon, and the room is very clean, the TV is open, ready for watching movie. That's the scene, when I woke up. (May event yesterday ha and natulog ako after set up). Yung simpleng ganun pala, acts of love. Yung alam nya yung gusto mo, he knows what makes you happy, where are you gonna feel comfortable, that's an A fuckin love, dude. Hehe.. Angsaraaap sa pakiramdam. Masaya ako, totoo. <3
May bonus pa yun, yung hug nya, na super romantic hug rin na walang halong malisya, pure love... May ganito pala.... Pure intentions... Pure love :)
And ito, today, maaga ako nagising.. And matagal ko na rin to gustong gawin, magblog, finally, nagawa ko na... He makes me inspired... And masaya lang ako, na andyan sila sa kabilang kwarto, mga tulog pang lahat, si Athena, si Miles, si Daddy JC... Kami ni baby girl, ito magkasama dito sa office-nursery room namin, na ginawa ng daddy...
Thank You God for this moment, for this power that you've given me to write these thoughts, and to express my feelings, principles, and few knowledges...
So pano, next blog ulit!
Let me know, what topic you want me to write, most probably my next is "How do you manage to become a mom and at the same time a business woman", nagpost kasi ako ng ask questions sa story ko, and isa yan sa mga pinakamagandang tanong na narecieve ko...
Hindi ko na rin ipoproof read itong blog ko na to ha? Hehe.. Bahala na kayo dyan magconclude o magisip isip... Heheheh.. Basta ako, masaya ako ngayon <3 I love you all! Kayong lahat ng mga taong hangang ngayon, binabasa ang blog ko... O mga bagong tao, na naniniwala at humahanga sa akin... Konti lang ang aabot dito sa part na to., sa sobrang haba ng blog ko! Haha! Pag umabot ka dito, Mahal ko kita, sigurado! Hehe... Will start the day na, andito na si baby boy, naka-kandong na sakin. Mom's duties and work mode na ulit. Byeee! See you on my next blog! Hehehehe..
P.S. Hindi ko pa nababawi yung blog domain ko na www.lovetrish.ph (naexpire at hindi ko narenew agad), nabili ng isang domain host- para ibenta sakin ng mas mahal :( since tumaas na yung value.. 10k na sya huhu.. Yung www.trishiedelacruz.com 1,999$ na so 100k plus pesos.. Di ko pa maasikaso kalikutin yungh blog ko, so sa lumang link nlng muna tayo na www.theceo.me hehe
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